Coping With Uncertainty
The past few years have brought up a lot of uncertainty. This can be especially true as a queer or trans person trying to live your best life when lawmakers and people on the internet want to limit your rights.
Anti-trans legislation and rhetoric creates a climate of chronic uncertainty. And it’s not just that the LGBTQ community, especially the trans community, is being targeted. There is also the uncertainty of not knowing what will happen. Policies are constantly being proposed, then retracted. An executive order is issued, then a court order stops it.
This can mean living in a state of chronic anxiety and stress, especially as a person with a marginalized identity. It may feel hard to make decisions about medically transitioning, changing your name, renewing your passport, or moving to a new city when it feels like policies and new headlines are constantly changing. How can you manage these feelings of uncertainty when we don’t know what will happen in the future?
What Is Uncertainty?
Our brain is always making predictions. Uncertainty happens when our brain can't make a reliable prediction about an outcome.
A part of the brain called the thalamus takes in sensory information from the environment, including what you see and what you hear. The amygdala attempts to determine whether this sensory input is a threat. If the brain can’t make a prediction about whether something is a threat, the brain would rather have a scary story that no story. The amygdala sounds the “danger” alarm, creating a fear response.
How you may notice the threat of uncertainty showing up:
Panic
Overthinking
Planning out every possible scenario
Obsessively seeking information or doomscrolling
Freezing up
Being afraid to make decisions or take actions
Hypervigilance — constantly monitoring what others are doing
Increasing Your Sense of Agency: Zones of Control
In life, sometimes things are outside of our control. This can feel really scary — especially when things outside our control have big impacts on our lives! But we can control our actions and responses.
Uncertainty impacts our sense of agency. If we can't predict an outcome, we may be reluctant to take action. By looking for actions we can make, we help increase our sense of agency.
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Other people's opinions
Other people's actions
Comments on the internet
The past
The weather
Court decisions
What other people think about you
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How I speak with my family
Where I spend my time
How I care for myself
What media I consume
My self-talk
Where I direct my focus
How I respond
Identifying Your Own Circle of Control
Take a moment to identify what falls inside and outside your own circle of control:
· What did you place in your circle of control?
· Based on what is within your control, what actions can you take?
Values-Based Decision Making
Values are the qualities, beliefs, or principles that guide decisions, choices, behaviors, and judgments. They help shape who we want to be and the life we want to live. Values help shape what we see as right and wrong.
In uncertain times, or when rights are under attack, we may feel that our choices are limited. Or, we may feel pressure to act from a place of panic or stress. Having a sense of who we are and the life of want to live can help ground our decision making when things feel scary. And no matter what happens in the future, your values are something that can remain with you.
Take a moment to review your own values and identify what is important to you. If you need help thinking of values, this list can be a helpful place to start.
What did you identify as important to you?
What are ways you can live in alignment with your values, even when things feel uncertain?
When faced with difficult situations, what actions best reflect the person you want to be?
LGBTQ Community
The LGBTQ community has a long history of taking care of each other, exchanging information, and organizing to create change.
Events such as the Compton’s Cafeteria Riot and the Stonewall Riots help show how collective resistance can spark change. Another example of historic community support are the roles chosen family and community support played during the HIV/AIDs epidemic. Today, the LGBTQ community continues to provide support, solidarity, and activism.
How Community Helps With Uncertainty
Uncertainty can bring on feelings of helplessness and powerlessness. This can impact our sense of agency. Participating in community helps increase our sense of agency. Taking actions to support others or engaging in activism helps show you that there are actions you can take in response to unpredictable moments.
Community shows us that:
We are not alone
Others feel the same way
Others want to take action
We can have influence
Communities can be more powerful than individuals, helping us see that actions can have impact.
As a final reflection, consider mapping out your own community resources — who and what you can turn to for support.
Struggling to Cope With Uncertainty?
If you're a queer or trans person navigating uncertainty, working with a therapist who understands these experiences can help you restore a sense of agency. Andy Price offers therapy for LGBTQ+ clients in person in Sacramento and online anywhere in California. Click here to get started.
